Our self-help groups and experiential workshops

In our experience, we have found that people who suffer in knowing about a loved one involved in violence and would like to do something about it often feel too helpless and incompetent to intervene or feel that their intervention should be solely aimed at sending the case to the appropriate services.

And indeed it is true that unfortunately the modalities for effective help are complex or even in some cases counterintuitive; in fact, abusers' "strategies" typically tend to hinder effective communication between the victim and those who intend to help them.

It thus happens that:

1. Valuable potential for countering violence remains untapped. For example:
   • In the sphere of ethics, who better than a perpetrator's brother or friend can make him feel the scandal and moral condemnation for his vile acts?
   • In the emotional sphere, who better than a victim's friends or family to maintain that emotional bond that, over time, can provide an alternative to the relationship with the abuser?
2. Little is done to counteract the seemingly mild bullying that always precedes violence; in fact, violence deemed serious is typically reported to services.

What to do?

 If people in the family and friendship circle can become bystander active whose action can be animated/powered by a sense of justice and affection, we propose initiatives to make these people aware of their power and support them with professional help.