STRATEGIES FOR KEEPING YOUR RELATIONSHIPS HARMONIOUS:

Knowing how to react when witnessing bullying.

In our experience, we have found that people who are distressed to learn that a loved one is involved in violence and who would like to do something often feel too powerless and incompetent to intervene, or believe that their intervention should be exclusively aimed at referring the case to the appropriate services.

And in fact it is true that unfortunately the ways to provide effective help are complex or even in some cases counter-intuitive; indeed, the “strategies” of those who abuse typically tend to hinder effective communication between the victim and anyone intending to help them.

It thus happens that:

1. A hugely valuable potential for tackling violence remains inactive. For example:
   • In the realm of ethics, who better than the brother or friend of a perpetrator of violence can make him perceive the scandal and moral condemnation for his cowardly acts?
   • In matters of the heart, who better than a victim's friends or family can maintain that emotional bond which, over time, can represent an alternative to the relationship with the abuser?
2. Little is done to tackle those seemingly minor acts of bullying that always precede violence; in fact, it is typically serious acts of violence that are reported to services.

What to do?

 If people from the family and friendship circle can become bystander assets whose action can be animated/empowered by a sense of justice and affection, we propose initiatives aimed at making these people aware of their own power and supporting them with professional help.